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Joke of the Day

"Mouse and elephant are on their way to the pool. *Told* *by* *my* *adorable* *niece.* Elephant: Bollox! I forgot my swim trunks! Mouse: Don't worry, I brought a spare."

"My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities"

"Robbing me is only a good idea if you're running low on ketchup packets."

"HIV has never been THE virus to have... Because it's always been retro."

"Racist Surfer What did the racist surfer say when asked about hanging a black man? Hang ten dude!!"

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks ""How do you drive this thing?"""

"When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like."

"What do you call a snake that works in the government? A civil serpent"

"A doctor gave a man six months to live ... ... The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

"Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet."