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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"

"HER: I have something I want to tell u ME: me too HER: *smiles coyly* same time? ME: sure HER: 1,2,3 I LOVE YO- ME: ONE TIME I ATE DOG FOOD"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? You dress her up as a choirboy."

"If my liver was a person, it'd be Doris, the 50 year old waitress pouring coffee at the truckstop for 35 years & smoking since she was born."

"I like my women like I like my cold meats In-bread"

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"This guy. This guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes outta no where."

"Being cremated..... ..... is my last hope for a smoking hot body."

"What do you get when you combine north beach and south beach? Sum of beaches."

"Hi, I'm from Brazil and I can't go to the backyard, I'm afraid my german shepherd will laugh instead of bark at me..."