90935

Joke of the Day

"Why did God invent the yeast infection? To show girls what it's like to live with an annoying cunt."

"First came up with this joke when I was 5 and it's still the funniest thing I've ever said. Q. What do you call a line of Barbies? A. A Barbecue!"

"People drive like shit when I'm texting."

"How do you know Santa Claus is married? He only comes once a year."

"How many prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously more than four, they've been in my basement for days, and it's still dark down there!"

"Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode."

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head as it smacks into a car windshield on the highway? Its ass."

"Yo momma so fat you can see the entire couch behind her due to gravitational lensing."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark."

"What do Child predators use to get dry skin off of their feet? A Pedofile"