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Joke of the Day

"""Son, I want to let you know that you were adopted. ""What?! Really?!"", I said. ""Yep! Go pack your things and get ready"", my dad said. ""They'll be here to pick you up in twenty minutes."""

Next Joke
 
"Why are lazy farmers so great? Because they are just out standing in their fields."
"Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference ""How to Deal with Stakeholders"""
"What do you call a pachyderm that doesn't matter? Irrelephant."
"Dude got his foot cut off, poor guy had to give up drinking milk. He lacked toes."
"Was at a pretty emotional wedding last week... ... Even the cake was in tiers!"
"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""
"When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies."
"Acupuncture for weight loss huh? I've had little pricks before, and they never helped me work off any pounds."
"I'm more likely to wear a donut on my wrist than any fitness tracker."