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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans? Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!"

"Jesus said to John, ""Come forth and I will give you eternal life."" But he came fifth and got a toaster."

"Didn't realize how bad it had gotten... The officiating in the NBA is so bad that at the end of last night's Knicks/Heat game the Lakers were declared the winner by 20 points."

"I don't mean to make your Monday morning worse, but we'll never be able to wear shorts in space."

"Wife's been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o's on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help"

"What do frogs say? Times fun when you're having flies"

"If Marilyn Monroe were alive right now, what would she be doing? Clawing at the lid of her coffin."

"The difference between reddit and college is ... You get a piece of paper at the end of college."

"Welcome to the dark side. We have.... Well, we can't see what we have. It's dark."

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count And those who cannot count"