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Joke of the Day

"I don't care if Ernie and Bert are gay or not, but how do they afford that apartment? Do they even have jobs."

"I'm going to do my Christmas shopping in Missouri. I hear the deals are so hot the stores are practically on fire!"

"""My Heart Mustard Go On"" - Celine Dijon"

"To all new iPad owners. When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment."

"a joke about pizza On second thoughts it's a bit too cheesy..."

"A guy in Saudi Arabia once masturbated, breaking the law of the land. His name? Sheik Dawood."

"What is a Canadian's favourite letter? Eh?"

"When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President."

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"An eskimo on holiday in Wales... His car breaks down. A Welshman looks under the bonnet and says, ""you've blown a seal"" Eskimo says ""so what, you fuck sheep"""