90628

Joke of the Day

"Due to a mix up my cat ended up in a beauty contest and not at the vet. To my surprise she apparently won some gimmick trophy for fluffiest butt. It was a real *catastrophe.*"

Next Joke
 
"Friend: It looks like you're packing to go on an extended vacation. Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii? Me: No, this is just my lunch."
"I figured out Inception, guys. The whole thing was really a movie."
"What's Robin Hood's favourite font? Sans Sheriff!"
"In know what comes after I... Just Kidding!"
"A little boy walked into a police station ""I lost my daddy"" says the boy. ""We'll look for him son, don't worry: what's he like?"" asked the officer. ""Liquor and women."""
"Two atoms are talking: ""Help, somebody has stolen one of my electrons!"" ""Are you sure?"" ""Yes, I'm positive!"""
"Doe A deer, a female deer. Ray A hunter, with a gun."
"What's worse than ants in your pants? ...uncles"
"*steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* ""Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber"" *turns coal into diamond*"