190729
Joke of the Day
"Where did bob go during the explosion? ...everywhere......."
Next Joke
"Why doesn't mexico have an olympic team? ...because everyone who can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border"
"Taught the 5yo to say ""totes magotes"" to annoy my husband who can't figure out why the kid keeps yelling, ""COACH MY GOATS, DAD!"" Nailed it."
"My wife gives me sound advice. 99%Sound,1%Advice."
"What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on? Your credit card."
"I think next time I'll go ahead and press ""2"" for Spanish. Maybe I'll actually get someone who speaks English better than the person on the ""English"" line."
"Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other ""Pass the soap."" The other says. ""Ice cream doesn't have bones."""
"""Doctor, tennis has caused bad pain in my forearms"" -There's nothing I can do ""There isn't?"" -Not until you bring in your other two arms"
"Sometimes I think ""What would Dexter do""?"
"Personally, I don't find swearing offensive. I think it adds character & emphasis to a conversation. I do find, backstabbing, lying, cheating and screwing people over offensive, but not swearing."