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Joke of the Day
"Why are pedophiles terrible Blackjack players? They don't hit on anything over 14."
Next Joke
"Just finished up some dusting. And by dusting I mean I blew on a shelf and then sneezed 6 times in a row."
"[running from a knife wielding murderer] oh hell yeah, my Fitbit steps are gonna be OFF THE SCALE today"
"Why do feminists hate Medusa? She's always objectifying people."
"Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern."
"I walked up 14 flights of stairs, so I'm all done with exercise this month."
"In Massachusetts you can't buy liquor before noon on Sundays. But bless your raging alcoholic heart for trying."
"What do you call a boring dog? A dull-mation!"
"So I just saw the music video for Radioactive, and if you think fighting stuffed animals is weird... ...Imagine Dragons."
"Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar n."