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Joke of the Day
"No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house... It's actually just a mynah problem."
Next Joke
"Somewhere there's a sheep named LL Wool J. & that's what keeps me going you guys."
"""tell... my wife... i loved her..."" carl dies. NOO! U LOVED HER WHAT?! *shakes body* U LOVED HER... TITYS? HER CAT? *slaps face* PLS WAKE UP"
"What's Beethoven up to these days? Decomposing"
"Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :("
"I keep trying to think of the unit for frequency... It hertz my head."
"Play Sharknado for an old person and tell them that it's a live news broadcast."
"Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4 what is 4+4? Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!"
"My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard And they're like We're gonna kick your ass fancy boy"
"Whats the worst thing to hear when you have explosive diarrhea? ""Are you ticklish?"""