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Joke of the Day

"What's Beethoven up to these days? Decomposing"

"I got mad at my uncle for telling me the results of the Cubs game because he is an hour ahead of me in New York. And he doesn't have a DVR."

"How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris? Don't know. Its never been done before."

"Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?"

"A nervous mountaineer looks at the steep mountain... Which his guide had proposed to climb. - Do people tumble down often here? - No, the guide said, one time is usually enough."

"A friend of mine is really into A Tribe Called Quest... ... I'd buy him an album, but I left my wallet in El Segundo."

"""I bought a new car!"" Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay? ""Only $3,200"" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit ""Damn....not again"""

"What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head? You don't want to look down."

"Help! I need funny jokes for a 9 year is at camp! Know any kid jokes that are actually funny? Please tell me what they are"

"What does Batman like in his lemonade? Just ice."