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Joke of the Day

"Play Sharknado for an old person and tell them that it's a live news broadcast."

"The difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with breast implants One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean"

"Haikus are easy But sometimes they make no sense Refrigerator."

"How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants? Two dam bad! (OC!)"

"Funny school joke Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"My wife tried to lecture me about ""mansplaining""... ...but, as usual, she had it all wrong."

"Sorry, ""hella"" was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I'll rephrase: Your son is totally missing."

"Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that."

"Why did the chicken cross the road half-way? She wanted to lay it on the line."

"I'll likely spend most of my child bearing years looking for a place to plug in my phone"