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Joke of the Day

"Somewhere there's a sheep named LL Wool J. & that's what keeps me going you guys."

"I was out shopping today; guess who asked about you?! Nobody."

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."

"What do you call a see through father who was born with female genitalia? Transparent."

"A Magician was driving down the street. Then he turn into a driveway."

"I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers."

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? When she can fit into your wife's clothes"

"Did you hear about the pirate who got in trouble at work? He was reported to H-arrrrr"

"I was confused the other day when someone told me I can make ice cubes with left over wine. What the fuck is ""left over wine""?"

"[first date] HER: if you had to give up one of your senses which one would you choose? ME: definitely my ability to see dead people. HER:"