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Joke of the Day

"Saw a sign that said ""piso mojado"" and all I could think about was . . how that piso just came here to do the work Americans pisos don't want to do."

"What is Kim Jong Un's favourite food? Yellowcake."

"[God making trees] God: ""They're alive but not. Every now & then they drop food."" Angel: ""I don't--"" God: ""Also they breathe the opposite."""

"My grandmother voted Republican until the day she died. Ever since then, she's voted Democrat."

"My parents were nihilists, but I knew they loved me... ...Because when they died, they left me nothing."

"My life story is just like ""Eat Pray Love"" but without the last two."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a tampon and ask which period it came from."

"What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blown-apart"

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""get the hell out. We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom responds ""aww why not? I'm a fun guy."""

"We all know how women can fake orgasms, but do you know how a man does? He moans, shakes, and spits on your back."