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Joke of the Day

"We all know how women can fake orgasms, but do you know how a man does? He moans, shakes, and spits on your back."

"How do you protect yourself from ghosts? Hide in the living room."

"You didn't like it. I was gunna tell u a joke about my time machine"

"Half of my Facebook friends are still there solely because their life is a train wreck and it's entertaining."

"I don't hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch."

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a Martini. The bartender asks,""Olive or twist?"""

"[NSFW] How do you keep a woman screaming hours after having sex Finish on the curtains"

"[at a bar] *creepy dude is hitting on me* Me: you wanna get outta here? Him: yeah Me: cool. I would love it if you left."

"If you want to mess up some bodies knock knock joke? It's open!"

"If my Sky Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal."