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Joke of the Day

"What do Pink Floyd & Dale Earnhart have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"Why did frosty the snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snowblower was coming by."

"Ripping a blaring fart every now and then lets your masseuse know who's in charge."

"I had a masturbation addiction. I beat it."

"If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot."

"On dates, if a man says the past tense of ""see"" as ""I seen"" instead of ""I saw,"" I go to the bathroom and climb out the window."

"What did the plate say to the other plate? ""dinner's on me"""

"If I had a gun and 2 bullets and I was alone in a room with you, Hitler, and Stalin, I'd look at you like how the fuck did we get in this situation."

"How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ""Please turn over"" on both sides of a page and hand it to her."

"I'm watching Olympic athletes run 1500m, while trying to figure out how I can make the Roomba drive 3m to the beer fridge for me."