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Joke of the Day
"Ripping a blaring fart every now and then lets your masseuse know who's in charge."
Next Joke
"I'm waiting for the next generation iPad to come out. Y'know, one more compact, about the size of my iPhone. Wait."
"I once paid to see a man eating chicken one hour and three buckets of KFC later i realized what i paid for."
"I'm good now. I pretended the vegetables I was chopping were actually people. It helped."
"What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other? A surgeon."
"What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield? You can actually get through the minefield alive."
"Q: What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick? A: Put it on my bill."
"You better watch out... ... 'cause I know Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, and about 12 other Chinese words!"
"What's the difference between a singing bird and a bad prostitute? One's a happy crow."
"i've got a pilot's licence... and i'm not giving it back to him. luckily he's too drunk to notice."