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Joke of the Day

"What did the plate say to the other plate? ""dinner's on me"""

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you."

"Why was the Xbox 360 named as it was? Cos when I seen one i turnt 360 degrees and walked away Playstation for life xD"

"[mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos"

"Just saw a great panel at Comic-Con, ""How to Talk to a Human Woman."""

"Why does Voldemort always sit in the nosebleed section at events? So he'll finally have the chance to get a bloody nose."

"My best joke today is.... r/news sub count. Literally just go there and press f5"

"VAN GOGH: Go on, open it. You'll like it. Much better than last year. GIRL: It isn't another ear is it, Vince? VAN GOGH: what"

"DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys"

"BOSS: I suspect one of you wrongly uses nouns as verbs. Everyone turns around and stairs at me."