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Joke of the Day

"the (please) fresh (lead) deli (me) sandwiches (into) at (woods) Walgreens (and) are (shoot) actually (me) pretty (in) good (head)"

"Why do black men only have nightmares? Because the last black man to have a dream got shot."

"Jesus loves you. These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison."

"What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotopus"

"[spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Hitler? Hitler had a plan."

"Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar."

"I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016. I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth."

"every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue"

"Do you like my new baby sister ? The stalk bought her. Hmm it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head."