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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and Hitler? Hitler had a plan."

"A black kid comes home from elementary school one day... And says, ""hey mom, I've got the biggest dick in the third grade! Is that cause I'm black?"" She says ""no Tyrone, it's cause you're nineteen"""

"*at a pizza buffet in the Midwest* Me: excuse me, can you please make a vegetarian pizza? Him: Sure! What kind of meat do you want on that?"

"I make rabbit tuxedos for a living. I'm a hare-dresser."

"[NSFW] MY wife walked in on me fucking my daughter... I wasn't sure if she was surprised by the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic gave me the fetus..."

"My dad said this at his retirement... he is a former principal ""I remember a time when Harass was two words."

"A little boy and a little girl are in the bathtub together. The little girl looks down at the boy and asks, ""Can I touch it?"".... He answers, ""No way -- you already broke yours off!"""

"Yo momma... Is so fat she started a new diet, lost a lot of weight and is doing really well now."

"What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar? This is the plot of ""Edward Sizzlerhands"""

"Wife online? Kids asleep? Time to relax & unwind with a damp cloth and a bottle of multi-surface cleaner. 'Me time'."