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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea"

Next Joke
 
"Damn girl, are you Miley Cyrus? I fucking hate you."
"On the way into work I dropped my doughnut on the sidewalk. You read about these things, but never think it'll happen to you."
"Wanna hear a joke? My fucking grades after my midterms."
"All alcohol will make my clothes fall off... tequila just makes that happen in public."
"got 1 of those water bottles w/ the plastic prison inside 4 putting fruit in. i'm gonna put donut in it. donut water.for health n prosperity"
"What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it!"
"How do you titillate an Ocelot? Ocillate it's tit a lot"
"I Bet If The Moon Found Out What It Means To Moon Somebody It Would Feel Bummed."
"How does a 49er fan change a light bulb? He doesn't he just talks about how great it use to be"