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Joke of the Day

"every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue"

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."

"The easiest way to distract a woman is to show her a picture of herself."

"What do you call a camel with no humps??? Humphrey"

"Van Gogh hands a wrapped up box to his girlfriend. ""Vincent, please tell me this isn't another ear."" ""What?"""

"Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !"

"The Viking God Thor comes to Earth... and spends all weekend shagging a woman with a harelip. On Monday morning he says to her ""I am Thor"". She replies ""you're thor, I can't even pith!"""

"There are 3 kinds of people in this world The ones who can count, and those who can't."

"Yo girl, are you from UPS? Cause I saw you checkin' out my package."

"Whats the difference between a nun and a whore in a bathtub? One has a soul full of hope..."