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Joke of the Day

"I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy. Q: What do you call a gullible vampire? A: A sucker"

"What is dry on the outside filled with water and blows up buildings ? A fish tank !"

"Sure, white people can't say the ""n word"" But at least we can say phases like ""thanks for the warning officer"" and ""hey dad."""

"A skeleton walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm gonna need a beer and a mop."""

"Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal."

"Did you hear that the energizer bunny was arrested? He was charged with battery."

"hello 911, yeah me again. so listen 29 of my recent tweets have been stolen and.. hello? hello?"

"You know who could really get a party started? Lenin."

"When I'm empty-handed my dog doesn't know what the word 'sit' means, but if I have a treat she can perform neurosurgery."

"I think my niece has a burgeoning slip 'n slide addiction Once you go down one, it's just a slippery slope."