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Joke of the Day

"Why do walruses just love a Tupperware party? They're always on the lookout for a tight seal."

"Photographer with really bad eyesight is the happiest because he doesn't need any lenses to see perfect bokeh."

"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country."

"Over the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots."

"What do we want? A CURE FOR PARANOIA When do we want it? WHO WANTS TO KNOW"

"""daddy where do babies come from"" ""we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* ""...we just don't know"""

"Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable."

"What do you call a penis and a potato on a boats? A dictatorship!"

"What's the difference between acne and catholic priests? Acne waits until you've hit puberty to come on your face."

"Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away."