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Joke of the Day

"Sure, white people can't say the ""n word"" But at least we can say phases like ""thanks for the warning officer"" and ""hey dad."""

"They don't bury an Amish man with his beard. They bury him with shovels."

"Did you hear about the convicted grammar Nazi? He was *sentenced* to death"

"*During an interview* Interviewer: 'So how long were you employed in your last job?' Candidate: 'I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.'"

"Why don't they teach Driver's Ed and sex education on the same day in the Middle East? They don't want to wear out the camel."

"Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married."

"I hate being bipolar, it's great"

"all pans are no-stick pans if you no-cook in them."

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"I want to tell a joke about infrastructure spending in the UK but only people in London will get it."