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Joke of the Day
"What's the definition of 6.9? 69 interrupted by a period."
Next Joke
"Premature ejectualation dinner party tonight, there's no formal dress code... Just come in your pants."
"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"
"MY EX WIFE STILL MISSES ME... But her theoretical trajectory seems to be improving!"
"What can an Elephant make that no other animal can make? Baby elephants."
"So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it."
"[Dirty] Guy walks into a... A guy walks into a shop and asks if they have any parsley, the cashier answers ""No sir this is a porn shop"". The guy says ""Oh well, do you have any dill though?"""
"Checking my phone one more time before I go to sleep because apparently 533 times wasn't enough today."
"How much is a metric fuck-ton? A shitload."
"Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor."