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Joke of the Day

"[Nsfw]What is in common between broccoli and anal? Both feel bad as adult, if you're forced as a child"

"Never go to restaurants with Hipster Chefs. The food is spoiled. They've been using refrigerators before they were cool."

"Why do blonde girls go to the bathroom in groups of three? Because they can't even"

"What the difference between a fridge and a virgina? Fridge don't fart when you take the meat out"

"5-year-old: *spreads arms wide* I love you this much. Me: Aw. 5: *spreads arms even wider* But I'd love you this much if we had a pool."

"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything."

"Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you're an ""arf""itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it's ""bark""itect"

"What do you call a Russian, homophobic, golfer? Vladimir Putting"

"Why did the bread machine go to see a therapist? It was too self-loafing."

"An asian woman gets into car and starts driving... thought you'd enjoy that one."