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Joke of the Day

"A man walks by a bar, the sign says ""lobster tail and beer $10"" He goes, what a deal for my 3 favourite things!"

"What do we want?! LOW FLYING AIRPLANE NOISES! When do we want em?! NNNNEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW"

"MONDAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY A GENEROUS GRANT FROM THE FUCK THIS SHIT FOUNDATION"

"I stayed up all night waiting for the sun to rise then it dawned on me"

"I would tell a joke about fat people, But they have enough on their plate as it is."

"Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Overpriced and bitter"

"MTV banning a video is kind of like a record store banning a book."

"Husband: ""Lost my keys again."" Wife: ""It's in your Jeans."" Husband: ""Come on, Why do you have to Drag my family into this!"""

"""Excuse me sir, but there's a Bohemian knight here to collect his fee."" ""Tell him the check is in the mail."""