19755

Joke of the Day

"I would tell a joke about fat people, But they have enough on their plate as it is."

"what do you get when you squeeze a synagogue? Jooouice!"

"Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?"

"Flirt with him. Drop down and pick up your asthma inhaler. Look back, readjust your glasses."

"People say, ""why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"" But I don't see anyone buying a car with out a test drive."

"I have decided to start a strict vegetarian diet Starting tonight I will enjoy a nice thick steak. Cows are the most delicious of the strict vegetarians"

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"Chuck Norris drives a solar powered car at night."

"Thanks a lot, gourmet cupcake shops. You've taken a perfectly good treat and turned it into an asshole."

"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."