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Joke of the Day

"Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is."

"Why does nobody like a rich stone? Because he takes everything for granite."

"What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick!"

"[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4. Experts say it was caused by a race condition."

"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"

"And the Lord said to Peter 'Come forth and receive eternal life' Peter came fifth and won a toaster."

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? You would too if your name was MMMHHHUUHH"

"How do you catch a runaway laptop? With an Internet."

"The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. ""Ahhhhh!"" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all"

"What do you pay a hooker with? Income."