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Joke of the Day

"I'm fluent in Mandarin said the orange."

"Man sees a kangaroo sitting in a movie theater ""Are you a kangaroo?"" asked the man, surprised. ""Yes."" ""What are you doing at the movies?"" The kangaroo replied, ""Well, I liked the book."""

"I've been a huge fan of bandwagons since yesterday."

"FUN PRANK: tweet ""going hang gliding!!!!"" then don't tweet again for 12 years"

"[Zoo, bird show] ""Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods."" *bird headbutts window 50 times*"

"""I have a split personality."" ...said Tom, being frank."

"Hey girl you must be a Charmander... cause yo tail end is *fire*."

"What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run! She has a grenade in her mouth!"

"Why don't we drink chicken milk? It tastes fowl."

"Nice guys finish last. And with me, women don't finish at all."