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Joke of the Day

"Man sees a kangaroo sitting in a movie theater ""Are you a kangaroo?"" asked the man, surprised. ""Yes."" ""What are you doing at the movies?"" The kangaroo replied, ""Well, I liked the book."""

"Paddy and Michael are out walking when Paddy falls down a well.... Michael shouts down ""Paddy! have you broken anything???"" Paddy replies ""No! there's nothing down here to break!"""

"Why did the cowboy get a Dachshund? Because he wanted to get a loooong little doggie."

"Did you hear about the new anti-consumerism movement? Nobody's buying it!"

"whats the difference between my driveway and 14 year old daughter? ... I pull out of my driveway"

"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Roll up her sleeves"

"I once farted in an apple store and people got evacuated.. ...because there wasn't any windows."

"I swear I change my mind about this election every time I open up facebook. My high school friends are political geniuses!"

"Q: Did you hear about the man who was Polishing the flagpole? A: He varnished into thin air!"

"Oh yeah I was in a gang in high school! Well not like a real gang, it was more of a Trigonometry Club. But we still flashed sines."