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Joke of the Day

"Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!"

"Raise your arms and run through the police crime scene tape like you're finishing a marathon."

"Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot? A: Because Donald ducked."

"Perfect Answer by Father. A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere."

"What do you call a female to male sex change? an addadicktomy."

"What if god made periods to remind us to have anal sex at least once a month?"

"Just saw a car with ""Just Married"" on the back window. Do people still do that? Get married, I mean.."

"I got my wife a plunger for her birthday... because she just LOVES bringing up old shit."

"The worst thing about doggie style is you can both see your kid come into the room."

"How does a black man win Father of the year?NSFW He pays for the abortion."