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Joke of the Day
"I got my wife a plunger for her birthday... because she just LOVES bringing up old shit."
Next Joke
"i've never seen a girl under 21 whose iphone screen wasn't cracked."
"What did the duck say to the hooker? Put it on my bill."
"Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist"
"Billionaire: I'd like to do something about crime. Butler: Being poor, I've got some great ideas-- Billionaire: I want to dress as a bat."
"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark."
"What do you call a naked musician? A Natural"
"I wonder if this whole Ebola thing is going to go viral Thoughts?"
"Motion to change the country's motto to: ""America - we're not that bright."""
"I got my wisdom teeth out solely to make a cute viral video of what I said coming out of anaesthesia, but I used the N-word too many times."