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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to a Pearl Harbor Day party later on. I'm totally going to get bombed! *Now... give me your downvotes... yes, I feed upon your scorn!*"

"Why is Jar Jar Binks so lonely? He's been looking for love in Alderaan places."

"Freudians suck I used to be a neo-freudian, until I took ap psychology, (jung and horney)"

"My skills Precision. Concentration. Patience. Fearlessness. Four skills I possess while shaving my nuts that I wish I could apply to other aspects of my life."

"Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said ""We do our business in your mouth"" and I haven't stopped laughing."

"""Laughter is the best medicine"" -doctor who failed med school"

"What's the most depressed thing in the bathroom? The toilet. It always takes all the shit."

"So I posted an opposing view on r/The_Donald [removed]"

"I've got a major hate-over after Hitler's birthday yesterday... Needless to say, things got a little heated."

"I was chatting up this woman. I said, ""You're the sort of woman I could introduce to my mum."" ""Aww,"" she smiled, ""Can you?"" I said, ""Of course, I'll drive us to the cemetery tomorrow."""