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Joke of the Day
"Difference between outlaws and inlaws? The outlaws are wanted."
Next Joke
"What would Valve call the next world war? A Global Offensive."
"Pro Tip: If you see a girl shake the gas nozzle after filling up, she's got a wiener."
"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on mutilated corpses. The librarian says, ""Do you want the Part 1 or Part 2?"""
"A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes that's ridiculous I said, my dogs don't ride bikes."
"How do you tell the difference in an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste"
"This status is dedicated to whatever you're ignoring in real life to read it."
"I have decided that I am not a 30 something. I am 29.95, plus shipping and handling."
"What's the difference between a pot head and a person who physically abuses children? One is good at rolling blunts, the other is good at bowling runts."
"What's the longest word in the world? Smiles. Because there's a mile between each 'S'."