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Joke of the Day
"What's the most depressed thing in the bathroom? The toilet. It always takes all the shit."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend told me that she's sick of me pretending I'm a cat Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a cat. I packed your bags. I want you to go."" Me: ""Wait, are you kicking MEEEOOWWT???"""
"I ate one of those orange Hostess cupcakes and now I have to live in the sewers."
"Whats worse than Bad command or File name? Windows update message asking you to restart your computer"
"Wait, you've got 99 bottles of beer on the wall? A. You should be refrigerating those, not putting them on a wall. B. You are an alcoholic."
"Why do geologists perform so well during intercourse? They really know how to make bedrock."
"What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip) Telegram Telephone Tell a woman Perhaps not very politically correct in the times we live in, but worth a slight chuckle."
"Why did Thor file a police report? Because someone stole his thunder"
"I'd like to thank my hands... I'd like to thank my hands for always being at my side, my legs for supporting me through thick and thin, and my fingers... Because I can always count on them."
"""So, you're going that way? Cool. Me too."" - Dogs"