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Joke of the Day

"Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said ""We do our business in your mouth"" and I haven't stopped laughing."

"Did you hear about the Hollywood actress that got murdered...? Person 1: Her name was Reese, errr, Reese, Reese whatshername... Person 2: Witherspoon? Person 1: No, with a knife."

"Some bitch just called me a crack whore... Stupid dogs, ass is the only way to go ;)"

"Why did Bill Gates name his company ""MicroSoft"" It is believed ""MicroSoft"" is a brief description of his penis ;-)"

"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."

"The barman says, ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Wife: you're drunk Me: no'm not Wife: I'M JUST A POOR BOY NOBODY LOVES ME Me: HE JURSTA PRO BROY FUMMA FLOOR FLAMLEE Wife: Me: ok lil bit"

"What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car. "

"How many cops does it take the screw in a lightbulb? The same number it takes to screw public confidence in law enforcement"

"I keep my wine glasses on the top shelf to make sure I stretch daily."