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Joke of the Day

"Two guys walk into a bar The first guy asks for a glass of H2O. The second guy asks for a glass of H2O too. The second guy died."

"Q: Why did the blonde have a hysterectomy? A: She wanted to stop having grandchildren."

"Why are business men's toilet clogged? They gave too many shits"

"There are three types of people... People who can count and people who can't"

"Friend: Can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure! *looks in purse* *pulls out perfume, 17 Hershey kisses, a stapler & a baby goat* Me: Sorry, no pen. :("

"Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club? They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely!"

"50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds"

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."

"My phone froze while looking at porn at work. The 4k quality is just too much of a load."

"I traded my brother for an old Game Boy game I'm still not sure what that old guy wanted him for."