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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."

"Thank goodness for wide, paved road shoulders that important people like me are entitled to use during traffic jams."

"When I was ten, my family moved to Downers Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them."

"When in Rome... Crucify Jesus"

"Just accidentally opened iTunes so now I can't use my computer for the next hour or so"

"Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife? Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)"

"I belched chickpeas in front of the Queen... She gave me a post-houmous pardon."

"what did 1 floating british boat say to the other i believe its about high tide for some tea"

"How many babies does it take to open a door? It depends on how hard you can throw."

"What's the difference between a Pakistani school and a Pakistani outpost? I don't know, I just fly the drone... *(Please don't hate me)*"