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Joke of the Day

"50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds"

"What is the difference between humor and odor? Humor is a shift of wit, while odor is a whiff of.. Shit."

"What has four hairy legs and fucks my sister? Me and my dad."

"I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ""Guess"" on it ...so I said ""Implants?"""

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? ""Breathe, dummy!"""

"My depressed son once confided in me, to which I replied: ""Don't worry, you're my reason to smile... ... because you're a joke."""

"Did you hear the one about the falling eggs? It will crack you up I'll just go now"

"[during a huddle in a crucial ice hockey match] ME: Ok listen up guys [all the other players look at me] ME: Is....is anyone else cold?"

"Watched a porno today of only people with extra chromosomes It's called ""Down to Fuck?"""

"Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream."