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Joke of the Day

"My friend once asked me if I would have sex with a christian girl without a condom. It's okay, God will protect us."

"Go up to a guy in a bar and whisper ""hey do you wanna get out of here?"" and if he says yes, you can sit where he was."

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State building can't jump."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"You're not fat, you're just... easier to see"

"Use the force luke I've run out of lubricant"

"video games are cool because they allow a diversity of themes. whether the old west, Mars or Middle Ages, u can go there and shoot a dude"

"What should you do if a bird poos on your car? Don't ask her out again"

"What did Helen Keller call her dog? <smashes keyboard>"

"Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race."