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Joke of the Day
"How do you hide money from a Republican? Put it in a science textbook."
Next Joke
"I volunteer a lot at a children's hospice... It never gets old."
"A baby frog just purposely threw himself in front of my lawn mower..... I guess he wanted to Kermit suicide."
"What do you think of men who likes to eat fish? I think they are Sofishticated. I'll show myself out."
"Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air."
"Why do elephants wear green shoes? So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?"
"This relationship is over. Over. ~dumping someone via walkie talkie."
"Having a toddler is like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator."
"How much do pirates pay for earrings? Somewhere around a buck an ear."
"Two nuns are discussing their love lives.. when one nun asks the other, ""So, do you ever start smoking after sex?"" The other nun replies, ""I don't know, I've never looked."""