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Joke of the Day
"Voting is just like driving. To go forward, choose D. To go backwards, choose R."
Next Joke
"This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister"
"I was riding my Vespa and nearly got hit by a Prius, that would have gone down in history as the gayest wreck EVER."
"What did one orphan say to the other orphan? ""ROBIN, GET IN THE BATMOBILE!"""
"What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours."
"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."
"Whenever I write out my alimony payment, I put cute things on the memo. Like ""for your next divorce"" or ""clothes that make you feel skinny""."
"I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open Shark:[nervously makes house noises]"
"Why did the man cry when he was cutting up onions? ""Onions"" was his dog... D:"
"Why are tourists to Scotland wrongly arrested as pedophiles? They say they came for the 12-year-old Scotch."