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Joke of the Day

"What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours."

"Why is your nose in the middle of your face? It's the scenter."

"I lost a few pounds today,... but when I lifted up my shirt I found them again."

"Respectful Yo Mama Jokes"

"[waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! ""What'll it be?"" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan"

"Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone."

"They named a cricket tournament after my friend's grandfather. They call it the ashes for a reason."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."

"i'm fat but at least i'm not ""my facebook profile picture is a pokemon"" fat"

"A recent study states that one of women's most common turnoffs on the first date is when men keep answering their phones. Especially when it's their wife on the line."