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Joke of the Day

"My wife heard it's seductive to bite her lip... I don't have the heart to tell her it's meant to be the bottom one."

"being single in apartments is the best cos you can listen to couples fight all the time. so comforting. like being inside during a storm"

"Stop changing your profile picture in a desperate attempt to get compliments."

"That incessant, monotonous football is really ruining my enjoyment of the vuvuzelas."

"Restless Leg Syndrome I found out I have restless leg syndrome so I started wearing a Fitbit to bed. I get at least 10,000 steps a night."

"what did the man say when he saw the chilli that he was about to cut up for his chilli con carne dancing? ""My chilli's gone barmy!!!"""

"Whats the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves"

"We're equally riveted by stories like the Chilean miners (33 men, 1 hole) & Tiger Woods (1 man, 33 holes)."

"""She's got legs. She knows how to use them."" ""So she's ambulatory then?"" ""... I guess?"" ""And is that really all you're looking for?"""

"Did you know that in any given group, only 9/10 of people understand basic math? The other 3% doesn't."