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Joke of the Day
"""The main thing about being a woman is trying to lock in moisture"" -TV"
Next Joke
"What is the speed limit of Sex? 68, because at 69, you eat it."
"I was pulled over by a female officer today When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer? She said ""ugh nothing!"""
"Why does Star Wars Movies numbering scheme starts with 4,5,6? Because in charge of the numbers, Yoda was"
"How does a jew get his beer? He brews"
"*6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: ""I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."""
"My horoscope said that I won't get along with Cancer... Nether do people in hospice care."
"What do you tell someone who occupies space and has mass? You matter."
"My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally."
"[2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] ""omg thats him"" me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] ""why is noone helping me"""