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Joke of the Day

"Freud had it wrong, women don't have penis envy, men have boob envy. Explains the obesity epidemic and my need to breastfeed daily."

"What do you get when you mix liquor and literature.... Tequila Mockingbird"

"Which band does feminists hate the most? Cis-tem of a Down"

"[Dog Restaurant] ""Is the Book Report any good?"" Yes, Sir. ""How's it prepared?"" A 9yo stayed up till 3am to finish it. ""Ooh, I'll have that."""

"What's the difference between a woman in a bathtub and a woman in a church? The woman in church has hope in her soul."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

"Why doesn't Kim Jong Un ever defecate? Because he's too legit to shit."

"[1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya"

"Apparently a lion has won a talent show in South Africa The judges said it had roar talent"

"My neighbor's 13-month old only has four teeth. She's way too young to being doing that much meth."