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Joke of the Day

"What did the busy port master say to the rowdy pirates who wanted to dock? ""I don't have time for your ship."""

"How did the firefly react when he was stepped on? He was delighted."

"When interviewer asks to describe yourself > Interviewer1: Describe yourself > Interviewee: HIRED > Interviewer2: [Whispers] Holy shit can she do that?"

"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."

"Why did people make white chocolate? So black kids could get dirty faces too."

"I know it's International Women's Day but I'd like to give a shout out to all the national and local women as well."

"this toddler on the bus said ""the wheels on the bus go round & round"" & this guy yelled back ""no shit Sherlock"" & I can't stop clapping?"

"Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report. Son: ""Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject !"""

"What do bees chew ? Bumble gum !"

"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but... Catscan."