56624

Joke of the Day

"You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn't notice... until they needed to wink at somebody."

"For this year's vacation, my wife wanted to go to a place that she has never been to I told her to try the kitchen. -Henny Youngman"

"A robber walks into a bakery, and pulls out a gun. ""Give me the dough!"""

"I've had to take a second job working in a bakery. I knead the dough."

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes. OH MY GOD THEY'RE CHINESE!"

"I wonder if this whole Ebola thing is going to go viral Thoughts?"

"Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful."

"""It's just bananas, bananas, bananas with you,"" the wife shouted. ""If I told you I was going to leave you because of this ridiculous obsession, what would you say?"" ""Well, thanks a bunch,"" I replied."

"What did the duck do after he lost his wife, his job, and his house? He became a quack head"

"Two muffins are sitting in a hot oven. Two muffins are sitting in a hot over. The first muffin sighs and says, ""gosh, it's so hot in here."" ""The second muffin exclaims, ""Ahh, a talking muffin!"""